I am going to preface this blog post with an idea.  I have no clue how I am going to write about what I want to.  But something is brewing and the end result could be good.  It could also suck.

You have been warned.

Every job I have ever had has changed my perspective for the better.  I have left some jobs on great terms with the company and some jobs I have left were on bad terms.  At times I actually feel like its a good thing to burn down a bridge to the cinders and hit it with a baseball bat.  But those times are rare and should be approached with caution.  That said, I have always learned something and that learning changed my perspective.

Learning is a part of life or as I like to call it these days “evolving” is part of living.  As I continue to happily(I really am) work for neutralspace I learn quite a bit about myself and my views on the world evolve.  As I was telling our sales guy Oliver, “Jon of five years ago wouldn’t be ok with the ideas the Jon of today has.”  ”The Jon of five years ago would call the Jon of now out as the man.”  And, in a way, its true.  I believe as we obtain power and knowledge, at times, our actions to some may seem bad.  

All told I am not sure humans can run clubs, organizations, communities, whatever you want to call it without incurring a negative human cost.  And the more I live the more I realize that my success comes with a cost as well.  Understanding the cost of our actions reasonably well is a challenging task.  How can I know the total outcome of my actions?  I would say we really can’t.  But we can squint and nail down some of them and what we do with that knowledge is important.  

What we do with the limited knowledge we have is also not easy.   Especially when the choices I make conflict with what I used to think was right.  In the past when who I became was blurred with who I was OR to say differently, who I became was in contradiction with who I was…. well that was pretty hard.

One of my first instincts when posed with change is to stop.  But if I stop evolving, personally speaking, I stop an aspect of living.  What is the net gain of me becoming less like what I used to and more like I could?  Well, id say largely, a bettering of temperament.  I am less flighty than I was, I am less prone to being unhappy and I actually love my life now.  All told, great things.  The downsides?  Well for starters a boost in ego can at times make you a selfish ass.  Loving your life tends to, for me, bowl over into other peoples failures in that at times its hard to relate.  Then again, part of being human, for me is understanding the negative cost to a largely positive thing and adapting the negative away as best I can.  Then realizing my best is good enough and living with it.  

That said, and to finalize this whole mud pie….  Change is coming.  I am here.  What will I be, myself + time?  Most likely.